Eternity alone
by Twitchy Blender
Summary: When you have loved someone for three centuries is it possible to move on with life? Would Carlisle be able to move on for the ones he loves or will he go insane? I don't know, you will have to see...
1. What if I died?

Carlisle was lying on the soft white couch, placed against the glass wall in his large living room pretending to nap. He opened his eyes when he heard his lovely wife come in. He looked at her beautiful pale face and smiled as she gracefully made her way by him.

"Hello, Esme." He said with a wide smile across his abnormally beautiful face.

"Good morning," she replied while lying down on top of him, resting the back of her head on his chest.

"How did you sleep?" he asked with a chuckle.

Esme giggled softly, "Wonderful, of course."

Carlisle smiled. He loved the fact that no matter how many centuries he spends with her, he could never love her any less; he could only love her more.

"You know, I was thinking," Esme started, "what would I do if you had died? I contemplated on this question for quite some time, but I was never able to come up with an answer." She sighed. "So, I thought, 'what would Carlisle do if I happened to perish?'"

Carlisle chuckled, "Well love, the answer to that is simple. I am absolutely certain that I wouldn't last more than a few days without you. I love you far too much to be able to handle that." He started to stroke her soft hair. It felt like silk in is smooth hard hand. "I can barely last one day without you."

Her eyebrows scrunched with thought. She turned over so her stomach was resting on his. There was a moment of silence, but then Esme broke it. "But you do understand that I could die any second, right?" Esme questioned, while playing with Carlisle's lower lip with her pale index finger. "I mean I would be awfully upset if you didn't go on with your life. I love you far too much for you to be brought to your death just because of mine…"

Carlisle put his finger over her mouth, and smiled when she looked up at him. "What if I promised that I would try my hardest to go on with life without you, no matter how impossible it seems. Don't worry though because you won't be getting hurt while I'm around."

"Don't promise things like that Carlisle."

"Ok, I apologize." Carlisle gently kissed her lower lip, and Esme happily returned the kiss. Then as Carlisle started to kiss her more passionately he heard someone walking to there room. He gently took Esme off, and sighed. "Sorry love, someone is coming…Jasper."

Esme smiled "I know, it's alright."

They heard a knock on the door.

"Come in Jasper." Carlisle muttered.

Jasper walked in. "Did I interrupt?" he asked trying to keep his face free of emotions.

"Of course not," replied Carlisle, "did you need something?"

Jasper chuckled once; he could feel Carlisle's embarrassment. "Well, I am terribly thirsty, and I noticed that Esme is thirsty as well. So, I decided to ask Esme if she would like to accompany me on a hunt."

Esme sat beside Carlisle's feet. Carlisle sat up and looked into Esme's pitch black eyes. He could tell that she didn't want to go, but didn't understand why. "Go ahead love. I will be waiting here for your return." Carlisle smiled at his lovely wife.

Esme kept her face blank. She knew what could happen next. She wrapped her arms around Carlisle's neck and squeezed him tightly. "I love you." She whispered into his chalky ear.

Carlisle smiled and kissed her ear. "I love you to."

Esme stepped off the couch and hurried out the room. Jasper quickly followed, but stopped at the top of the stairs. Alice had sent him to go get Esme but asked him to stay at the top of the stairs until she called. He wondered why...

Esme strode up to Alice. "Alice? Has anything changed?" she demanded.

Alice looked up at Esme with pain in her eyes. "No, if we bring Carlisle right away, he will get himself killed. The best vision I got was that we called Carlisle when it was almost over and you…"

"What will happen if we just don't call Carlisle at all?" Esme asked after a moment of silence

"Bella… will… die." She hesitated.

"Ok, then I guess we will have to contact Carlisle when the battle is almost over."

Alice's eyes widened, "No Esme, that is unacceptable!" Alice protesed as a child would. "I can find another way…"

"No, Esme interrupted, you said that they were coming for Bella at midnight." She glanced at the clock hanging on the beige wall. "It's already eleven. We have come up with many different plans and they all end the badly. If we bring Carlisle he will get himself killed trying to save me. If we don't bring him at all Bella will die too. I am willing to sacrifice my life for Bella, and that is exactly what I am going to do." She paused and took and unnnessissary breath."I have never seen Edward so happy, and I am not going to take that away from him because of my own selfishness."

Alice looked like she was about to cry. "But Esme," she protested in a whisper, "Think about Carlisle he will be devastated. And so will Edward and Bella, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, and…" her voice got even quieter, "and me. We love you Esme."

"I love you all to, but this is for Bella." Esme tightly hugged Alice.

Alice froze. Esme stopped hugging her. She saw Alice starring straight ahead, her eyes wide. "Alice, what do you see?" Esme rushed.

Alice looked at her. "They changed their minds. They are coming now." Alice's voice was squeaky and soft.

Jasper walked in, he felt Alice's sudden panic and couldn't wait for her to call him. "What's going on?"

"We'll explain on the way." Esme answered quickly and quietly

They met Bella and Edward in an abandoned warehouse. It was pitch black, the only things blocking the stars were the pine trees that stood over a hundred feet tall, and about eight feet wide. They would obviously kill a human if it fell on them. Of course the Cullens didn't worry about that.

Alice stood by Edward. "They are on their way. How much time do we have?" Alice asked Edward as calmly as she could manage.

Edward tightened his grip on Bella's hand. "Five minutes."

When Bella turned her head she noticed that Emmett and Rosalie had gotten there. She was always amazed by how quickly vampires could run. She started to think about how Alice told her that the vampires wanted to kill her because they knew that she would be stronger than most vampires, and on top of that she would be living in one of the strongest vampire coven in history. She shivered at the thought of Edward and everyone else having to fight who knows how many vampires.

"Bella." Edward said, pulling her from her thoughts. "Don't forget the plan. Emmett and Rosalie are going to take you as far as possible when they are about thirty seconds away, so they won't sense you leaving until it's too late."

"Ok." Bella whispered so low that a she coud barely hear. Of course, Edward heard clearly. Edward held her tight around the waist.

Seconds seemed like eternities to Bella, although, unlike the rest, she was unaware of Esme's fate. "Why is the ground shaking?" She thought. Then she realized that her whole body was shaking violently. Edward held her tighter.

"It's time. Emmett, take her on your back." Edward rushed.

Without answering, Emmett took Bella and put her on his back with ease. Bella locked her legs around her waist and grabbed his neck in a chokehold.

Emmett took off. Rosalie took a glance at Esme and quickly hugged her, knowing that that would be her last, and quickly took off after Emmett. Edward looked nervously at Esme. "Esme, I will do everything I can to…"

"Don't worry Edward," Esme interrupted. "I know you will do what you can. Don't morn over my death too long. Please?" she begged

Edward tried to keep his face blank, but failed. "I'll try." He said his voice shaky.

Esme smiled, keeping all emotion off her face. Jasper was holding Alice's had. Alice was trying not to hyperventilate. She held his hand tighter, and he stroked it with his thumb, and desprately tried to keep his cool.

Edward's face turned paper white. "Their here." He whispered.

Jasper let go pf Alice's hand and they all got ready for battle.

Five vampires walk slowly toward them, and stopped three yards away. Three of them were at least one century old. One was a man with red curly hair, and too many freckles on his face. His face was smooth and he would be just as beautiful as the others if his face weren't covered with those freckles that are too dark for his light skin. Even his puffy lips were spotted with small dark freckles.

The second older one was also a man. He had strait dirty blonde hair that reached to his waist. He smiled cockily.

The last older one was a female. She had Blonde hair that reached to her shoulders. Her hair was in perfect smooth spirals. Not one strand of hair was out of place. Her face was the whitest of them all. She reminded Esme of a pale Shirley Temple.

The other two were obviously newborns. One was a male. He looked egger to start the fight. He had strait black hair the reached to the bottom of his neck, and a small silver hoop on left side of his lip. He also had a bang that nearly covered his entire right eye. He was shorter than his newborn companion who didn't look egger at all. She had light blonde hair. She didn't look threatening at all, all though she was. You could tell that she wanted to resist fighting (which is almost impossible for a newborn). There was a shy look in her eyes, and she didn't look any of them in the eyes, like the other ones were.

But they all had one thing in common, they were beautiful, of course, and they had bright red eyes.

Before Jasper could try and talk the newborns out of fighting, the black haired newborn attacked him. Then the other newborn and three older ones quickly attacked the rest of the Cullens. The Cullens quickly responded, attacking with all their might. But they were out numbered. The blonde girl had attacked Edward, and pinned him to the ground. She had already bitten his arm and neck.

The redhead had attacked Esme. She was shocked by how strong he was. He had her pinned to a tree, and they were ripping at each other violently.

Alice had the male with the blonde hair. In the beginning she wasn't sure if he was a male or female, but this was the least of her worries. The blonde man thought that Alice would be easy to be fought off, due to her tiny feature, but was quickly proven wrong.

The curly haired female helped with Esme. She knows that Esme would be the easiest to kill, because she is the eldest, so they might as well start with her.

Alice scented a fire about a half a mile away "They've started the fire!" Alice yelled as she pushed the blonde male of her.

Esme panicked. She knew that the end was coming soon.

The fight had been going on for sometime now, and everyone had battle scars all over. The blonde, unfortunately, had one on his cheek. The two who had been attacking Esme got a hold on her legs and arms, and pulled her off the ground. Alice panicked. She knew what was going to happen next. "Esme!" she yelled. She looked over at Edward. "Edward, we have to call Carlisle, now!"

Edward, Alice, and Jasper knocked a tree on the blonde male, and as they fought Alice continued piling rocks and trees on him until she knew that he wouldn't be getting out for sometime. Alice quickly dashed toward the fire. As she was running she pulled out her cell phone and called Carlisle.

Carlisle looked at his phone, it started playing 'So what' by Pink. He lightly laughed at the silly ring tone that Alice had put on his phone. He picked it up at the second ring. "Hello?" he asked.

Alice was relived when he finally picked up the phone. "Carlisle! We need you know! Vampires attacked and-and now they have Esme! They want to…kill Bella. We need you now!" Alice slightly stumbled over her words. "We are at the forest in by Bella's house. Just follow the sent of the fire."

"I'll be there right now." He hung up the phone and frantically ran towards the door. He ran faster than Edward, using panic as acceleration. He sped through the forest, with horrible thoughts running through his head. What if they burned everyone? Or what if they burned Esme without burning him to? He tried to push away these questions and concentrate on getting to his family as fast as possible. The scent of fire got stronger the more he headed north. When he saw the orange sparks, he went as fast as he possibly could.

When he reached the fire, his eyes widened in panic. His whole family was being held by at least three vampires each, except Emmett, Rosalie, and Bella because they weren't there. But what made him panic the most was Esme and the five vampires had her held still. They were getting ready to throw her in the fire when Carlisle ran toward them, not caring that he was out numbered. Before he could attack six vampires grabbed him by his arms, legs, and waist. Carlisle struggled trying to break free. As the vampires threw Esme in the fire she mouthed, "I love you." to Carlisle. She screamed when she landed in the fire. Carlisle yelled twice as loud as he saw Esme's flesh burn before his eyes. He thew two of the vampires right into the fire and attacked the other four.

As he was trying to get the four vampires off of him, two vampires walked up to Esme with a large bucket in each of their hands. The buckets were three times there size, but they didn't struggle with them at all. They started to slowly pour the acid on Esme. She screamed at the top of her lungs. This is when Carlisle really lost it, he through some of the vampires into the fire, and the others in random directions. He ran to the two vampires with the acid and dumped it on them. When he was about to pull Esme out of the fire, two vampires grabbed him. He yelled out of anger and pushed one in the fire, but three more grabbed him. Alice, Edward, and Jasper were also fighting off vampires.

The vampires pushed Carlisle toward the fire, but before he fell he felt someone catch him. He looked and saw it was Rosalie.

All of the vampires were killed but one. Carlisle put his hand in the fire, but what he pulled out wasn't Esme, but the burnt remains of her arm. It didn't even look like an arm; it looked more like a black blob. "No!" Carlisle yelled, refusing to admit that his wife of three centuries had perished, that his life had perished. He stuck his hand back into the fire, trying to get his wife out, but all he got was ashes. He refused to give up. He kept on digging, and then he felt something big. He pulled it out feeling hope, but when he saw what he pulled out, that hope was replaced by panic. He had pulled out what used to be his beautiful wife's head. It was now a big black and brown blob, except the corner of her lower lip was slightly pink. There were hallow black holes were her piercing eyes used to be. Carlisle screamed at the top of his lungs from horror.

Edward threw the remaining vampire in the fire, while Rosalie walked towards Carlisle. While she was walking towards him she was trying to think of as many ways possible to help him calm down and stop screaming. When she reached him her mind went blank. She had never seen him like this; he had always kept his cool no matter how bad the situation was. She did the first thing she could think of.

"Carlisle?" Rosalie whispered while putting her hand on his shoulder.

Carlisle quickly got up and ran into the forest letting Rosalie's hand fall limp back to her side.

Rosalie looked at Alice, "Should we go get him?"

Alice closed her eyes, concentrating. After a minute of silence, her eyes flew open. "No, he will come back home. He won't dare do anything stupid, at least not today. He promised Esme. We should let him be." Alice said trying not to hypervenilate.

Rosalie shared glances with Edward, Alice, then Jasper, then back at Alice. She nodded and they started to head home.

**Throughout the story there might be mistakes. Sorry, but my microsoft word isn't working so I have to use notepad, and that doesn't tell you if you've made a mistake =(**


	2. Bad dreams

When they got home they noticed that Emmett had tried to calm Bella down with a movie. Of course, she was too busy worrying to even notice that her favorite movie, Romeo and Juliet, was on. As she was worrying about all of the horrible things that could happen to her new family, she felt someone sit next to her. Her eyes lightened up when she saw who it was.

"Edward!" she cried happily. "Are you ok?" Edward nodded. "And is everyone else ok to?" she rushed.

Bella looked into his golden eyes.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked trying to stay calm. She could tell something must have happened by the depressed look in Edward's eyes.

"Everyone is fine, except Esme," he nearly choked on her name, "and…Carlisle."

"What happened to them?" Bella protested with tears filling her eyes.

"Esme…is…no longer…with us." He whispered trying to find the most appropriate words to keep Bella as calm as course, he knew that was impossible.

Bella panicked "What?" she was at loss of words. "But…why?"

"Vampires…burned her." Edward answered, shortening the story as much as possible.

"What happened to Carlisle?" she squeaked in a whisper.

"Well, he has temporarily run away."

"Then don't we have to get him?" Bella panicked. "What if he…"

Edward interrupted. "Don't worry Bella. He won't do anything tonight. Alice has already cleared that possibility.

Bella thought about how Alice's visions aren't very reliable.

Edward saw the doubt in Bella's face.

"Bella, don't be absurd. Alice will tell us if we need to worry. No need to doubt her."

"Ok." Bella whispered. Her eyelids started to get heavy.

Edward looked at the clock. It was four in the morning. "It's time for you to go to bed Bella."

"I don't want to." Bella protested, only half awake.

Edward ignored her and carried her like a child to his room. He set her down on her king sized bed. He slipped next to her, wrapped his cold arm around her waist, and hummed her lullaby to her until she fell asleep hours later.

Suddenly Bella was in the same foggy forest as yesterday looking around, for what, she was not sure. As Bella was walking she heard crying. She followed the crying. As the crying got closer, the fog got thicker until she could only see what was right in front of her. When the person crying was in sight, she was surprised by who it was.

"Carlisle?" she asked nervously.

He looked up at her. When she saw the tears in his eyes, she knew this had to be a dream.

His eyebrows scrunched in anger when he saw it was her. "Get away from me!" he yelled with tears still pouring out his eyes.

"Carlisle… y-you shouldn't be here alone. Something could happen to you." Bella stuttered slightly.

"I don't see anything dangerous here, except you, you selfish murderer! If it wasn't for you my wife would still be here with me. But of course, it's always about you, and making sure that you safe. Well you can go to hell were you belong, because while you and Edward get to live happily together, I will be alone for the rest of eternity…or at least until I end it myself."

"What do you mean 'end it yourself'?" Bella choked, tears flowing out of her eyes. "You can't kill yourself…"

"Watch me." Carlisle interrupted wiping his tears and getting to his feet.

"Carlisle wait!" Bella yelled. But it was too late. Carlisle was already gone before she had time to try and talk him out of it. Without thinking, Bella took off with no hope of catching Carlisle. She was going annoyingly slow and realized that she wasn't breathing. As she gasped for air, she heard Edward's velvety voice calling her.

"Bella." It said quietly. Suddenly it felt like everything was shaking, and for some reason the shaking started in her shoulder.

Bella screamed and snapped up. When she looked around, she realized that Edward was also sitting up, looking at her with his eyes wide. '"Bella what's wrong?" he panicked.

"N-nothing," Bella stammered. "I just…had a… bad dream." She assured him between gasps.

Edward sighed. "You should go back to sleep, you need to study tomorrow for you calculus test."

"Ok." Bella whispered. She slowly lied down and tried to go back to sleep, but guilt kept her up all night.

Alice had seen Carlisle coming back in a vision, and he did. He came back around eleven o'clock in the morning two days later. When Carlisle came back, Alice took a peek at him, what she saw shocked her. The purple under his eyes were too noticeable. His hair was messy, as if he had gone to bed with wet hair and never bothered to brush it in the morning, which surprisingly, didn't look bad on him at all. And his jacket and over shirt was gone, leaving him with only a slightly tight tank top, this only made Alice's eyed grow wider.

He quickly made his way to the bathroom. When he came out, two hours later, his hair was done and his clothes were changed -Alice had seen him going to that bathroom in her vision so she left clean clothes-. The purple under his eyes were still extremely noticeable.

Bella and Edward slowly made their way downstairs. They calmly walked up to Carlisle, but made sure to stay about two yards away.

Edward greeted him quietly, "Hello Carlisle."

Carlisle looked up at Edward and Bella. Bella was shocked at how he looked even less human now; of course he was still extremely beautiful.

Carlisle thought about Esme, and how she would want him to be as happy as possible, and if he couldn't, he should at least make his family think he is.

Carlisle forced a smile that took him too much effort. He new that his smile probably wasn't very convincing, but it was a start. "Good morning you two." He said with as much cheer as he could manage, which was about as much cheer as a child would have at his mother's funeral.

Bella held back her tears, she knew that Esme's death was her fault, and it was only a matter of time before Carlisle got tired of faking happiness -no matter how bad he was at it- and just lost it.

Carlisle met Bella's gaze and forced a smile, but it didn't turn out the way he wanted it to, it was wary and lifeless. "You must be hungry." He pointed out, monotone. "I'll go buy some food.

"I'll go if…" Edward started

"No," Carlisle interrupted, "I want to." Carlisle got up before Edward could argue. "Is there anything in particular you want?" He asked Bella.

"N-no, but it's ok I can…"

"No," Carlisle interrupted. "I'll be back soon."

He got up and left without another word.

He decided to walk to the store to try to clear his mind.

_I know for a fact that Alice will bring up the topic of... - _He couldn't even bare to even think of her name-_ soon, but I have no idea what I will do if the subject is approached. Will I run away again like the coward I am? I can't leave my family every single time the topic of... _He decided he didn't want to think about it anymore.

Carlisle ended up forgetting to go to the grocery store and went into the same forest that Esme got murdered in. He swiftly dashed through the forest looking for Esme's death spot, and then he heard a voice.

"Carlisle?" it called. "Carlisle?"

Carlisle recognized that voice, but it was impossible, she was dead, or was she…?

"Esme?" he called.

"Carlisle, where are you…?" her voice started disappearing.

"No! Esme don't go I'm over here!" He ran through the forest toward where he thought the voice was coming from.


	3. I can't

Carlisle ran through the forest for hours. He refused to give up, even after circling through the entire forest…five times.

_Am I going insane…? I wouldn't be surprised._

Around nine pm he suddenly remembered Bella. He was supposed to get her food.

I wonder if she is still waiting for me…

He ran out of the forest and quickly walked to an open grocery store. He glided through the front door so gracefully everyone couldn't help but watch him in awe.

He paced through the aisles, wanting to leave as soon as possible. He didn't understand why he wanted to leave so badly, but he knew that he did.

He quickly grabbed everything in his way until he was satisfied with his load, and quickly paced to the counter.

When the lady looked at his angelic face she gasped, and her eyes widened in shock. She quickly scanned his items when she swiped his card. She felt the blood rush to her face and tried to remind herself to breath after that embarrassing random gasp.

She handed him his card. "Would... you l-like your…" she forgot the word…" receipt?" she remembered, saying the last word as quickly as possible as an attempt make up for the lost minute she had just spent staring at his deep black eyes. Of course that only made her more embarrassed, causing her face to heat up.

"Yes, please." Carlisle answered, unfazed by her odd behavior. He was already used to it, and would have to get even more used to it now that he was technically …single, or whatever they call male widows.

"He-here you go." She handed him a white paper.

"Thank you." He said as politely as he could manage. His politeness must have been convincing because she smiled a dazed smile and watch him all the way out of the grocery store.

When Carlisle got home Bella was sleeping, resting her head on Edward's lap.

"I hope she ate." Carlisle hoped silently.

"No." Edward thought.

Bella's stomach growled loudly. She woke up from the hunger.

"Hello Bella." Carlisle said kindly, hiding his guilt.

"Hello Carlisle." Replied Bella, only half awake.

"I, uh, brought you food."  
"Oh…uh…thank you."

"I apologize for delivering it so late."

"Oh, its ok. I, uh, wasn't that hungry anyway." Bella's stomach protested.

"The groceries are on the table. I would cook it for you, but I may end up intoxicating your system." Carlisle said trying to lighten up the mood, but he knew that he had failed horribly.

"Its ok." Bella assured him while slowly getting to her feet.

"Are you sure, I suppose I could try. If my kitchen is in danger of being burned due to your lack of sleep, I would gladly cook for you."

"Its ok, I wont burn you kitchen."

"Ok." Carlisle made his way to his empty room, while Bella made her way to the kitchen. Carlisle lied down on his soft light beige couch. He smoothed every wrinkle he could find on the couch as an attempt to pass time until he had to go to work tomorrow morning. How he wished that he could sheep. Then he could dream of her all the time. He smiled at the thought of being able to visit her every night, but that smile disappeared when he reminded himself that that was impossible.

"Why did I promise her that?" he asked himself.

He thought about Esme's last request.

"I mean I would be awfully upset if you didn't go on with your life…" she repeated in his mind. He grasped the look of concentration when she was trying to think of what to say. He couldn't think of one moment in his life that he didn't think she was the most gorgeous thing he had laid eyes on. Although Rosalie was a little prettier than her, he never thought so.

_How am I supposed to live on without her? I go crazy just being away from her while I'm working. How am I supposed to last eternity without her?_

His breathing was shaking so he stopped breathing, knowing that someone would hear him. His shoulders started shaking uncontrollably.

_I can't…_


	4. The mall

**Five months later**

"Jasper, this is getting completely out of control." Edward complained. "His thoughts are driving me insane. I can tell he is trying to hide it, but its not working very well."

"I know. I can barely stand to be in the same room as him, let alone the same house."

"What can we do? I mean this was the love of his life. I am amazed he has lasted this long, but do you really think that he is going to go on like this for the rest of his eternity? If it was me, I know I wouldn't. I wouldn't have lasted even one day, so we have to give him credit for his strength."

"Perhaps he will be able to move on…" Jasper added doubtfully.

"Perhaps." Edward agreed, just as doubtful.

They both sighed.

"Carlisle is coming." Jasper said sadly.

Carlisle walked into the oversized living room. "Hello Edward, Jasper." He said with a smile, that they both new was fake.

"Hello, Carlisle." Jasper greeted.

"Hey, Carlisle." Edward said before he could go upstairs. "I was wondering if you would like to join Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and I to the mall. You wouldn't want us to have to go alone with Alice and Rose would you?" Edward faked a shudder.

**Carlisle's Point of view**

I don't want to be rude, and I can't remember the last time that I did something with them.

"Ok." I answered with a smile.

When we entered the over crowded mall (if you can call an undersized galleria a mall) every head spun to our direction, male and female.

It seemed like it would never end. I answered Alice and Rosalie's every "does this look good" and "Do you want this." With a smile and a yes or no, trying to keep my concentration on them and away from Esme. I also had to try to stay tuned in on Edward, Emmett, and Jasper to make sure that they wouldn't start an argument (which was odd for me because Esme did a far better job than I had so I never used bother) or try to add as much as possible in there talk about sports and other absurd topics.

By the end of our trip I decided that the best thing to do was to try and not think about Esme at all. How was I supposed to go on and care for my children if all I did was mope and remind myself how impossible life is without her, although its 100% true.

I felt relief take over me when we finally got into the car, but that relief was quickly washed away when I stepped into house. I realized at that moment that the only way to survive this overwhelming loneliness was to keep myself occupied with as many useless things as possible.


	5. I'm an angel

"Carlisle, you've been working overtime for weeks now. I think you should take a break." My boss suggested.

"No, it's quite alright." I interjected quickly... too quickly. My boss gave me a worried look. Everyone had informed about my wife's death not to long after it happened. So everyone felt the need to avoid serious conversing with me, as if one wrong word would break me. It was irritating.

"But, I think you may be a little, well, overworked. It's not good for you, especially not in your…condition. I mean…"

"No," I interrupted, "trust me. I am fine. I want to work. I will let you know when I'm _overworked_ ok."

"Alright."

"I have a patent in five minutes." I informed him politely.

"Ok." My boss said, I could tell he was worried that I may overwork myself- but thanks to my demonic condition that I have been stuck in for over three hundred years and would be stuck in for eternity- that was impossible.

I nodded my head and headed towards the patents room.

***

I spent a couple minutes looking for my car until I realized that I walked there.

I decided to take a walk in a nearby forest, there where many in forks. There hadn't been rain for weeks now, and teenagers that wanted to take advantage of the weather and start a bonfire were starting fires. I could smell one close by but it was small so I was in no danger, although the smell stung my nose, so I stopped breathing.

I sighed. I had gotten out of work at three in the morning and didn't go back until nine am today. That was six hours that Esme could haunt me. Was this madness ever going to end? I couldn't spend the rest of my life this way; it was pointless._ I'm sure that everyone would be alright if I where to…no I can't think like that. But I am sure that I am making Edward and Jasper's life hell, I'm already making my life hell. Maybe it would be better for them if I just leave._ I looked up at gray poufs and gathering in the sky and contemplated on what my final decision would be. _They don't need me any more anyway. Edward and Jasper are over a hundred years old. The rest of them are old enough to, and I'm sure they would stick together. Maybe it's supposed to end like this. I warned her that I wouldn't last without her. Why did she do that? She knew what was going to happen but she left me anyway. _I was surprised that I was angry. I wondered why the world was shaking until I noticed that it was me. I knew that I would be crying if that were possible, I wished that I could. _I am so weak; I don't even deserve to live anymore. I don't bring anything good to this world anymore. My purpose has been fulfilled and now it was time to end it._

At that moment I made my decision_._ I couldn't last. That would be causing a tremendous amount of unwanted pain to myself and would make my family suffer. I had to end it right there and then. I followed the sent of the fire; it was right bellow a large cliff. Some of the kids who started the bonfire must have accidentally caused it. It was as if teenagers didn't have brains now a days. Why would they start a bonfire in the middle of a forest filled with many things that can catch on fire, like trees? I stared blankly into the flames. They looked soft, as odd as that sounds. I felt for a moment that if I were to touch it wouldn't burn me. I gazed at the orange silk wondering how much it would hurt when I landed in it. It was spread about ten yards all around. The gray poufs made my nose twitch. _I wonder if I even have a heart anymore. _It never worked. But at least I always knew it was there, at that moment I doubted its existence. _Maybe she had taken it with her. I wonder where she is now. I hope he had mercy on her. She never asked to be a monster; he should punish me for that. I didn't even deserve to live. I should have met my grave centuries ago. Who am I to fight fate?_ With that I jumped off the cliff. The wind pushed my neat blond hair back as I stared at the orange below me anticipating the moment all the pain, suffering, and loneliness would end.

**Alexis's point of view**

I was shocked, when I saw him falling, but I was more shocked when I saw that he wasn't flying. He was obviously an angel. The closer I got, the more amazed I grew at his beauty. His eyes weren't wide open or closed, he just let them sit there halfway open, using no effort. He looked as if he might be looking forward to falling in the fire. Gold waved behind his pale head. Even his eyes were gold. He was way to beautiful to be real.

After a while of admiring his beauty, I realized that he was only a foot away from the tip of the fire. He wasn't planning on flying. I decided that I'd better catch him before he harmed himself. I flew below him and gently caught him in my arms.

**Carlisle's point of view**

What happened? I was blinded by puffy white feathers. Without thinking I rested my head on the feathers. They were soft. As I lay my head on the feathers, I tried to find out what was going on. Maybe I was dead. I traced my fingertips along the feathers. _I doubt I'm in hell. Perhaps he did have mercy on me. _I didn't understand why he would. When I looked up I saw the most beautiful thing imaginable, possibly, even more beautiful than Rosalie. I couldn't help but stare like dimwit. She wasn't human. She could fly. Amazing, perhaps she was an angel taking me for judgment. I already knew where I'd be sent. She took a quick glance at me, when she saw me staring, her face turned an almost unnoticeable pink and she continued looking forward. I stared at her, dazed, for a couple more seconds then remembered that I was flying. I looked to my left. It was almost unreal. It was as if I was in a plane with no roof, windows…or floor… Perhaps I should say something…

**Alexis's point of view**

_He finally stopped staring at me. _I was shocked by how intimidated I was by his stare. I should have been used to that, but he was beautiful, I couldn't believe it. He had no flaw, even the patches of purple looked…wow….

My thoughts were interrupted by a voice. "Um, excuse me ma'am, where are we going?"

Oh god, even his voice was perfect, he had a slight English accent. Then I remembered that I should probably answer him.

"Uh…" how was I supposed to answer that, "nowhere. I just sorta saw you falling, so I caught you."

**Carlisle's point of view**

I look back at the flames and then back at her face, that could almost pass for pale, but not quite. I couldn't help but notice her Aquamarine eyes. As she slowed to a stop some raven spirals from atop her perfect head fell on my right eye. I slightly moved my head to the left. I didn't realize until then how comfortable I was on her wing. I didn't want to get off. Eventually I would have to, but where would we stop? In heaven, hell, or the ground? Was I even dead, or deader than I already was?

I looked back up at her. "Am I dead?" I asked.

I was shocked by her reaction. She laughed at me. I was suddenly a little annoyed. Without thinking I frowned. Her laugh sounded like chimes, it reminded me of Alice, whenever she laughed at me for doing something stupid.

"So, am I dead?"

"No." she smiled. She could tell that I was upset and was trying not to laugh.

But I was supposed to be dead. I wanted to be dead. "But, I am supposed to be dead, and you, you're flying."

"I noticed."

I couldn't help but smile. That remark reminded me of Edward. I missed Edward actually. "So if I'm not dead then, where are you planning on taking me?"

She giggled, "I'm taking you back to the ground." I noticed that I sounded very out of date speaking to her. I never felt like that, even talking to Bella, but for some reason Bella had the vocabulary of an 80 year old man; but everything this angel said sounded...in this century.

"Oh…well thank you for catching me." I smiled at her.

I could feel the wind slow down as she slowed to a stop and landed gently on the ground. She slowly set me on the ground. I looked up at her perfect face. It was cute how you couldn't really see her cheekbone when she smiled. I never really liked that, it made girls look too skinny when they had bones popping out of their face everytime they smile. Her teeth were paper white. She wore no make-up. Natural beauty…

My thoughts were interrupted when she put her warm perfect hand on my left cheek. Then she put the back of her left hand on my forehead. At that moment I thanked god that I couldn't blush because I knew that if I was twenty-two and this was happening, I would be a tomato. I didn't even notice that for the first time in months I wasn't thinking about Esme. Why did this angle touching my face with her hands? I didn't even deserve to be in her presents.

"Your cold." She chimed worriedly

I looked at the angel in front of me. She shouldn't be worrying about me. I was sure that if I were to explain to her what I did and why I needed to be exterminated, she would gladly escort me back to that cliff. But was she an angel…?

"What are you?" I asked inquisitive.

She grinned, "I'm an angel."


	6. It's not fair

I stared in awe. Was she for real? I knew I was right, but in case she was kidding I decided to doubt.

I chuckled. "An angel?"

"Yes." Stunning Aquamarine stared into unworthy gold.

_She is probably an angel. She did fly. _I starred at the marvelous creature before me. Pearl white feathers swayed in the wind.

"Here to take me to hell?"

"Nah, I'll save that for later. Besides I don't believe I have the authority anymore."

I was shocked. Was she in trouble? How can such a perfect creature be punished?

"Anymore?" I echoed.

"No, they where gonna clip my wings but I got away on time."

Curiosity flickered in my once expressionles face. "Why?" I asked without thinking.

She smiled. "Because," there was a long pause, "I fell in love with a demon."

I felt my eyes widen. A demon? How can such a perfect person fall in love with something so evil? "Are you still with him?"  
My eyes met her sad eyes. "No…he was… assassinated…"

"I'm so sorry." I said too quickly, feeling guilty for making her bring it up in the first place.

She smiled. Even her teeth were perfect. "Don't be sorry." There was a moment of silence. "So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well," she smiled a devilish grin, "I know your not human, you are way too cold to even be alive."

I chuckled. "No, I guess I'm not alive."

"So, you're an angel?"

I laughed. "I wish."

She looked confused, her thin black brows furrowed in confusion. "Then, what are you?" She asked slightly extending the e in her then.

"I'm a vampire, of course."

"A vampire?"

"Yes."

"So, that means you…suck blood." She slowed down at the end of her sentence.

"Yes, although I am what you'd call a _vegetarian_ vampire. I refuse to consume human blood."

"The, what do you eat?"

"Animal, blood."

"Oh…that's very…creative."

"I apologize. If I scared you then I could just leave now."

"No, you don't scare me." She said quickly. "Besides, I spent half a century with a demon, I don't get very easily scared anymore."

I smiled. I still couldn't help but feel bad for making her bring her demon up. It didn't seem to make her too happy. Perhaps I should make it up to her.

"Uh…" why was I so nervous? I had no reason to be nervous. "Would you like to have dinner? Well if you don't mind me not eating with you."

She giggled. She could tell that I was nervous. "Ok, I have nothing better to do anyway."

I had no idea why, but I had gone this whole conversation without even thinking of Esme. I knew that that was impossible, but yet it was happening. I didn't even feel too guilty for the bubbly feeling that I could feel forming in my stomach. But why? I should have felt guilty. I should have let her leave so I could go back to that cliff and make sure that I land in the fire that time. But I didn't, I actually wanted her to stay as long as possible. I felt happy for the first time in months. "Ok, would you like to go now?" I asked politely.

"Alright, but don't you think I should know your name before I go to your house?"

"Oh, of course, how rude of me. My name I Carlisle."

"Carlisle." She echoed in a fake English accent.

I smiled. "Yes, and my I have the honor of knowing your name?" my smile disappeared when I noticed that it sounded like I was flirting, even though it would be an honnor for me to know her name because I don't even deserve to be standong here talking to her. I had been with Esme for so long I almost forgot what flirting was.

"Well, I suppose," I had to repress my laugh at her bad fake accent, "my name is Alexis."

"What a beautiful name." I complimented without thinking. I knew my face would be burning red if it was possible, but luckily for me, it wasn't.

"Thank you." She said abandoning the mocking of my accent.

I escorted her to my house patently, not rushing her seemingly slow pace. On the contrary, I was enjoying talking to her so much; I wanted her to slow down. I was amazed by how easily I was able to talk to her. It was amazing. But no matter what, I still couldn't feel unworthy to even stand next to her, let alone converse with her.

I couldn't help but feel disappointed when we reached my house, that meant our time together was cut in half. But why did I her to stay so bad? I could barely talk to the people that I had known for decades. Something wasn't right, but I didn't care. All I knew was that I was standing next to the most beautiful thing of the face of the planet.

When we walked into the house I could tell that Edward and Jasper were shocked, although they tried to hide it.

I could tell that everyone was trying there hardest to make her happy. Alice tried to make her feel as welcome as possible. Rosalie and Edward kept their best smile on at all times. Jasper made sure to calm down Edward and Emmett when he felt a fight approaching. And Emmett made sure to give her his famous "bear hug" the second he was introduced to her, and right before she left. They must have done a great job because when Alice invited her to come the next day, she didn't hesitate to say yes.

As I made my way to my room, I couldn't help but over hear Jasper and Edward talk.

"I don't understand." Edward complained.

"She has a manipulative power." Jasper explained. "She…" he tried to find the appropriate words. " is able to make Carlisle…not forget, but move on from Esme. She's not trying to, its an unwilled power, like your mind reading. She's an angel, her presents makes people happy and makes them forget everything bad, especially when the attracked to who they are with, but I believe she could call it off if she wanted to, but it would probably take concentration."

"So why is Carlisle still happy even though she is gone?"

I think it's because her power is still lingering. I mean they did seem to get along very well, so maybe his happiness will stick around as long as he sees her often."  
"Well then that is wonderful."

That is why I was so happy with her around. Perhaps they were right. That was a good thing.

**Four months later **

Since that day I had been taking as many hours off as possible. The good thing is that she didn't sleep much since she was an angel, so I was able to talk to her a lot at night. I enjoyed every second I spent with her. I am pretty sure that she enjoyed spending time with me at least a little because she never denied time with me. Although I loved being with her, I still couldn't help but feel a little guilty. I shouldn't have because that's what Esme would have wanted. For me to move on and maybe even find another…I don't know would she?

**Alexis's Point of view **

Carlisle told me to just go ahead and open the door, but I decided to knock anyway. When Alice opened the door, she greeted me with a big hug and kiss to the cheek. She happily led me into the house.

"Carlisle will be home in about a half an hour." Alice reported. "He says sorry for being late."

"Oh, that's alright." I assured her, "the more time I get to spend with you the merrier."

Alice's eyes lit up at my last words. "Ok!" she chimed happily. "What do you want to do?"

I thought about it and realized that I had never seen any pictures of them. They've been alive for like ever, they had to have some photos...unless they didn't show up in pictures. "We can look through some photos if you want to."

"Ok." Alice danced off joyfully and came back with a thick photo album. She sat down on the fluffy couch next to me. I notice Carlisle's white coat sitting on the arm of the couch. Doesn't he need that for work?

I was amazed at how thick it was. Carlisle must have loved taking pictures. "Wow, that is huge."  
"Oh I know. Esme used to love taking pictures of us. We could never get her to put the camera down…" Her eyes widened as if she said something that she shouldn't have.

"Who's…?"

"Anyway," Alice interrupted. "Lets look at the pictures."

"Ok." I said in defeat as she opened the photo album.

She kept on skipping pages no matter how many times I told her not to, so I took away the photo album and flipped the pages myself. Edward and Rosalie always seemed angry when standing next to each other. Alice always looked at her happiest when standing next to Jasper. I could tell that Jasper was camera shy because I only saw him smile when Alice was clinging to his waist, probably begging him to smile. Rosalie didn't seem to be paying attention in too many of her pictures; she does always seem to be in her own world. Edward didn't have that big smile in any of his pictures until Bella came into them towards he end. The only one who didn't need someone by him to have a big happy smile on his face was Emmett, but he did always seem to have an extra big smile when Rosalie was near him. Carlisle…he always seemed to be with a woman, I don't know why. But he seemed so incredibly happy. I decided not to jump to conclusions. I saw a couple pictures of him kissing her on the cheek, nose, and hand. All my suspicions were confirmed when I saw him on his knee putting a ring on her left ring finger. I couldn't believe it, was he leading me on. Some of the pictures of her were dated from late last year.

"Who is she?" I whispered while tracing my fingertips along Carlisle's face and along the floor. I was amazed when I realized that I was on the verge of tears.

"Alexis," Alice said softly, "it's not what you think. Carlisle would never do that to you."

"Then who is she?" I said raising my voice.

"Calm down Alexis." She paused, probably thinking on whether she should tell me or not. She sighed, "I guess there is no way to go around this. Besides I wouldn't want to make Carlisle have to tell you, I don't think he would be able to handle it."

"Ok well…

***

I was shocked. They had been together for centuries. He must have loved her so much. No wonder Carlisle seems so out of it sometimes.

But what about me? I was practically forcing him to get over it, not that I meant to. But still, this isn't fair for him! I should let him get over her naturally. It wasn't my place to be forcing him to get over it. I had to call my power off. I looked around wondering why I hadn't heard Alice this whole time. She had left, probably to give me sometime to contemplate the situation at hand.

Sudenlly i hear someone run into the room. It was Edward and Jasper.

"No!" Edward yelled, making me almost jump off the couch

"What?" I asked half as loud

"You can't do that!" Jasper panicked.

Oh yeah, Edward could read thoughts. I sighed. "I'm sorry Edward, I have to."

"No you don't!' Edward yelled. "You don't understand! He's my father..." it sounded like he was trying to hold back sobs.

"No Edward, it's not fair to him. He wouldn't even be with me if it wasn't for my power! Its not right.

I heard the front door close and I knew what I had to do.

"Hello Alexis." Carlisle greeted cheerfully. He must have been way out of on his walk home if he didn't hear us, I'm pretty sure i knew what he was thinking about.

I took one last long look at his perfect face, knowing that this would probably be the last time I see it. His right eyebrow lifted in curiosity.

"I am so sorry Carlisle." I said choking back tears.


	7. Why?

Sorry? Why was she sorry?

"Alexis, what's the…" before I could finish my sentence I felt a flood of emotions. Anger, at myself for not disposing of myself when I had the chance, and slightly at Esme for dying; guilt, for betraying Esme, how could I have done this? What would have happened in a year or so? What if I... I couldn't even bear to think of the possibilities. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. I couldn't even bring myself to breath. How could I have done that? How could I have betrayed my love tike that?

It felt like someone was driving a sword through my chest and stomach. I felt myself gasping. My shoulders were shaking violently. I had to go now and finish what I was going to do before I met this Angel. I forced myself off my knees and ran out the door like a bullet. Rain rolled off my golden hair and down my cheek, replacing the tears that I would be crying if it were possible. I ran through the nearest forest and stopped at an abandoned warehouse. Without a second thought, I went inside.

So here I am now in this warehouse, with water continuously rolling down my hair and clothes. I grab a match from my coat. Good thing I had to borrow my partners lab coat, and he just so happens to smoke.

I slide the match along a piece of dusty wood. It quickly catches fire and I throw it on a pile of old wood. The bright orange flames slowly catch fire, I think back to the day I jumped off that cliff. I wish she never caught me, then I would have never abandoned my love, and I would have just gone to hell like I was supposed to.

I watch the fire spread round the edge of the warehouse, sneaking behind pipes and drawers. I knew it would take at leat 20 muinets for the entire wearhouse to catch fire.

It is time to stop procrastinating and just step into the fire. Right before my foot touched the fire I freeze and snatch it away. I start sobbing tearless sobs. I know it would be selfish if kill myself right now. My children would then have to mourn for to. I yell out of frustration, and throw a burnning cabniet at a wall.

I fall on my knees and continue sobing. "Why!" I yell pounding the floor so hard that my hand goes straight through leaving me pounding on the earth. "It's all your fault! Why didn't you take me with you?" my voice starts to crack and pitches a little higher. "Why? I...I l...love you." My words get caught by my slight hyperventilation. "Why did you have to leave me?" I give up on my questions and let my forehead fall to the floor. I continue sobing until something picks me up. I don't even bother looking or checking the sent. I'm far too caught up in my emotions.

By the time I got home I realized it was Edward who had me. I felt like a whimp. Why should my _son_ have to carry me home and put me in bed?

I spent the entire night trying to fix everything that was emotionaly wrong with me. I was the father of the house and I had to pull myself together for the sake of my children.


	8. Looking up

I have worked this past three and half years in pulling myself back together. I've been working less, and I've spent as much time with my children as possible. I still have to work on confronting...the issue though. I feel as though I am in rehab, but instead, grief is the drug. I always spend the entire night wishing the pain away, but, I have been alive (dead) long enough to know that that's impossible

Most of my smiles aren't even false anymore though. Of course I still have my days that I feel that the world is over, but by the end of the day I accept the fact that I have to go on with 'life' for Esme...I promised.

Now that I've been more alert, I've noticed that something is not right with Bella. She always seems blue when she comes near me, even Edward has noticed. Perhaps I should speak with her. She has already been a vampire for three years now, her life seems perfect, I sometimes can't help but envy her.

One thing that has helped me a great deal is Nessie. I can't help but smile from ear to ear when looks at me with those big chocolate eyes and calls me 'grandpa.' That beautiful girl is definately a blessing, and everybody in the house agrees, especially Jacob.

The pain seems to weaken everyday, some days less than others, but it still does. Yes, my life has been looking up since the day I decided to change it. Although, one thing that seemed to make everone down was that Alexis left. According to Edward, she felt guilty for 'forcing' me to get over...yeah. Everyone tried to track her down, but they couldn't find her. Oh well, maybe it is better for me to get over this naturally, although I do miss her.

I quickly glide down the stairs and give Nessie a kiss on the forhead.

"Hello dear." I say to her with a smile.

"Good morning Grandpa." she says full of excitement. "look at what i made!" She puts a picture up to me. It's a bunny that looks like it belongs to a cartoon. The picture is way beyond her years, but I'm not surprised. She is a three year old who can pass for a six, maybe seven year old, who has always been beyond her years. "I made it for you grandpa."

"Thank you. I will put it on my wall so everyone can see." I always love how she is so full of life. She always has a big smile on her perfect face, and always makes everyone around her smile, no matter what.

Jacob walks up to me and Nessie. "Hello, Nessie." He says in an overly cheerful voice, and then looks at me. "Hey Grandpa, whats up?"

Why does he always ask me 'whats up?' Soemtimes Jacob makes no sense. Maybe it's supposed to be a joke. "Good morning Jacob." I say with a smile, lacking something better to say. "Um, how are you?"

"I'm, good. I'm going to take Nessie to the park today," he says with a big smile plastered on his face, "but first we have to eat breakfast, huh?" He looks down at Nessie.

"Uh, huh." She says with a big smile. I keep on telling Jacob to stop speaking to her as if she were still a baby. I understand she is still a toddler, but if he keeps on talking to her with that 'little baby tone' she might start talking like that, and it will take a very long time for her to grow out of it.

I sigh and Jacob smirks. I think he's doing it perpously (sp) now. Oh well.

He heads off to the park with Nessie, leaving me to go to work while everyone else is at school. Jacob does homeschooling here so he can spend as much time with Nessie as possible.

**OMG! This is hard! If you have any ideas you should tell me. School is giving me writers block. Its hard to be creative where the enviornment is so flipping boring. =(**

**Oh, and sorry if there are stupid mistakes, I don't have Microsoft word so i have to write my stories on wordpad, and that doesn't correct my spelling.**


	9. The end

Oh my goodness! Work is so boring! This town is so small that there is never any patients. I let out a very loud sigh. I know that the humans are to far to hear my sigh, so I don't worry about being 'rude.' It was so much funner when Esme used to keep me company at work, now its just boring. If I could sleep I know I would have been out like a light many hours ago. I glance up at the clock, just five more minutes. I wonder if they'll notice if I just leave now...

I slowly make my way to the door and slip out.

_Maybe I should take a walk. _I go into the nearest forest and walk around. I empty my mind and listen to everything around me. I hear a few chipmunks, the wind is picking up so I cant hear the trees rustling clearly. The sent of pine is thick in this area.

I do everything I can to keep her beautiful face out of my thoughts, but, as usual, I can't, so I give in to my weakness, because thats what I am...weak.

I can see her as clearly as you could see the sun right above your head. Her beautiful features were enough to have any man on their knees. Her smile was not only perfect, but had her unconditional love for everything behind it. I sighed.

I also miss Alexis. I didn't feel for her as I felt for Esme of course, but she was an amasing friend. I wish she didn't leave like that. She probably thought I was psychotic for trying to comit suicide and left, far away. She's smart.

I allow my thoughts roll back on to Emse and stay there for a few hours. I didn't even realise that I had been standing in the same spot staring at a pine tree for two hours. I also didn't notice that it has been pouring for the past hour.

I'm dripping wet, so I guess its time to go home. I decide to cut throught the forest to get home. My coat is soaked, just like every other part of my body, but I don't care. As I walk I notice something odd in the sky. A A big white and Black bird....wait, thats not a bird. I notice that the figure has black curly hair and is holing someone.

She lands in front of me with a big pearl smile, but thats not what I'm looking at.

"E..." My voice cracks. I can't breath.

Esme gives me the biggest, brightest, most beautiful smile I've seen in years. My head starts pounding. _This can not be real_. My legs feel llike jello, they are usless now. I fall to my knees and put my face in my hands. I know when i look up she will be gone, it wouldn't be the first time this has happened, but this is definately the most realistic hilusonation I've had yet. I can breath again, but it's uneven and sounds like i just finished running. I look up, knowing she would be gone.

_What?! Why is she still here? This is an unfair hilusonation._

Esme looks worried. "Carlisle? Are you alright?" Her beautiful flowing voice was thick with worry. There was a line of worry between her eyebrows, I wish i could smooth it out with my finger, but I don't even have the strength to get on my feet. I try to answer, but words fail walks up to me and kneels so she is eye level with me. "Carlisle? Whats wrong? What happened?" I feel my insides melting to the sound of her voice. I see two things burning in her golden eyes, love and concern. She put her pale, cool hand on my face, if only I could cry so she could know how much I missed her. Esme looks back at Alexis. "Alexis, what happened? I"ve only been gone for an hour, why is he in so much pain?"

"An hour?! You've been gone for three and a half years!" I half yell, my voice is cracking a little. her eyes widen in surprise, I didn't understand why I was so furious at the moment. "You left me alone for three and a half years! I was all alone and you don't remember a thing? I had to suffer and you didn't? ...That's not fair." I realise that I'm not being fair. I feel guilt replace the pointless anger. I haven't seen this beautiful loving person in over three years, and I make my introdution with anger? She looks liike she is absorbing what I just told her, saddness takes over the features on her face. I can't bear to see her suffer. I instantaly become ashamed and heartbroken at the same time. "I'm so sorry. This isn't your fault. I..." my voice shakes," I just missed you so much." She pulls me into a hug and i put my head on her shoulder, and in that moment I know everything is going to be alright.

**Three months later**

Everything is pretty much back to normal. I refuse to let Esme out of my side in fear that she might disapear, she doesn't seem to mind.

Esme loves Nessie to death, she can stay with her for hours, playing games, and doing her hair.

Alexis told me that she felt guity so she went 'up' and pulled some strings, and Esme had to lose her memory of being wherever she was for obvious reasons.

So everything is better than I could have ever imagined.

**Yay! I'm finally done. The ending is kinda corney, but whatever.**


End file.
